A 4 am thought….
Claire slept from 11 til almost 7:30 two nights ago. It was amazing.
I had been thinking recently “how much longer?? I don’t know how much longer I can wake up at night like this..”
So last night, at 1:30, Claire wakes up grunting/fussing. Luke sweetly goes and gives her a paci to see if she will go back to sleep. Then come the next five minutes of waiting anxiously (instead of sleeping, of course) to make sure she will go back to sleep. There’s nothing worse than being asleep for five minutes and being woken up with more crying.
It worked! No nursing needed, just a paci and some shh-ing.
Fast forward to 4am. Grunting/crying. I go in and see that she is frustrated as the paci is right next to her head and she can’t get it. She is just so helpless! I re-insert the paci for her and head back to bed.
…waiting. It worked, again!*
I couldn’t help but think “Finally! My night awakings may be going away! I can’t wait til she can just re-insert that paci that’s RIGHT NEXT TO HER HEAD on her own!”
I laid there and thought there was just something so adorable about my tiny baby laying there, helpless, knowing that we will help her. And then that old saying popped into my head, you know, the one that usually pisses your sleep-deprived-self off at some point when you hear someone say it…. “These days go by so fast.”
Then I got sad. One day, soon, she will wake up, find her paci and put it back in if she needs it to comfort her.
One tiny step to being self-dependent.
One tiny step to watching our little baby girl become the grown woman she will be.
Our life is short. It’s hard to see that when you’re living it day-to-day.
These days go by fast, these days go by fast. (repeat)
“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14.
What am I going to do with my “mist”?
* btw, she ended up waking up eventually and having to be nursed. But after my mini reflection, I gladly nursed her back to sleep. 🙂